One of the primary human needs is to have a secure emotional bond, an ‘attachment’ to those closest to us: parents, partners, children

 

At birth, this attachment is sought from primary caregivers, and as by Dr Susan Johnson’s evidence-based research confirms, as adults we seek this same form of attachment from romantic partners

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In our couples’ relationships, if we’re able to depend on our partner for nurturing, soothing and protection this attachment creates emotional safety and security

 

Some may say that dependency in relationships is a sign of weakness, however research has shown that the more securely connected we feel, the more separate and different we can be as individuals

 

Inter-dependency is what makes a couple’s relationship thrive, and so understanding each other’s attachment styles, needs and longings is vital to a healthy relationship

 

The aim of Emotionally Focused therapy is to help partners de-escalate their interactions, understand how their individual behaviour helps create the cycle of pain and distress they find themselves stuck in as they create emotional connection and safety, they are able to start identifying and expressing their attachment longings and needs.

 

The final result is a new healthy relational cycle where the couple can thrive